Buhtt sex?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
