Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
no, he came in my armpit
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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