Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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