I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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