are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
