how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
