I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
