Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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