If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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