you have to choose: penises or morals?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
