He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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