Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
