if you like me you must not know who I am
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize