people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
