My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
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Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
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Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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