It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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