A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
