I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you didnt know i had herpes?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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