Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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