I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize