So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
