3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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