It's like God shit irony all over that family
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
