yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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