Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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