i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
