i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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