And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You pole danced in your parka.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
