it wasn't lemon gatorade
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
