The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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