grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize