If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
