covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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