i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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