Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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