Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
