If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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