Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
