Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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