Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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