you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
