Don't you send me to vm
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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