morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
