So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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