I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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