I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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