I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Enjoy the penises
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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