I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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