Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
