this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize