need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
