In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How many fucks given?
0.12846
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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