4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
