So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
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Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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