Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
