I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
handjob tips. give me some.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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