I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
