Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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