He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
