What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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