"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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